| I love writing pseudo-legal letters. I kept wanting to write "my client" instead of my name, but stopped myself. Writing this letter brought up fuzzy memories of the acrimonious correspondence between my Jackson Heights lawyer and me over their charges for an H-1B visa they had applied for on my behalf. I did get the visa, but in October of 1998, three months after I had lost my job because they didn't apply before the quota got filled in April that year. Subsequently, they informed me that because of being born in the United States I was eligible to apply for a green card -- which they had known along -- so I filed for that. And then I fired them. This began the long and bitter correspondence over their fees. Their last letter to me was something along the lines of "Here's your file and good riddance!" But thanks to prose of the sort below I bested them -- trained lawyers! (well, actually, not too sure about that) -- and saved $500. Hey, that's a lot for someone who was earning $22,500 a year. here is the text of the letter more or less as I sent it Attn: Mr. Accident Man Re: Accident caused by yourself on Friday, March 3, 2006 at 2.30 p.m. in inner circle Connaught Place Sir, This letter is regarding the accident caused by you while driving the vehicle registered in the name of xxx xxxx (DL xx x xxxx) on Friday, March 3 at 2.30 p.m. in the inner circle of Connaught Place. While driving behind Ms. Tripti Lahiri, you attempted an illegal overtaking maneuver from the left side. In the process your bumper guard wrenched and broke the rear bumper of Ms. Lahiri's car on the left side, necessitating replacement of same. As per Indian law, you will be aware that an accident caused by the rear driver is automatically the legal and financial responsibility of same. Enclosed is the bill of repairs performed at Ms. Lahiri's expense, in the amount of Rs. 1,497 for reimbursement. Upon receipt of this letter by courier, kindly remit the amount of Rs. 1,497 in cash to Ms. Lahiri's office address as stated above. Please also inform expected time of delivery to Ms. Lahiri's mobile number, as listed above. Your immediate attention to this matter is required. Sincerely (doesn't seem like a very advocatorial salutation, no? but I couldn't think of any other one), Tripti Lahiri |